It's been 60 days. 60 days of self-isolation in this new crazy world we live in. I don't even know how to process that. I'm not sure how I feel, how I'm supposed to feel about that? Actually, as of today, it's been 66 days for me. 66 days worry, 63 days of learning, 66 days of stress and joy mixed into every day in this odd and crazy way.
Honestly, I haven't been keeping track of it daily. I had to go back and count the days on my calendar to know how many days it's been. I have friends who count every single day and honestly, I think that forces us to look on at things from a perspective of being in a negative situation. I worry that counting the days sets us up to think this is like a jail sentence and we are just waiting for freedom to be given back to us. Maybe some of us are. Maybe some of us feel like this has been a jail sentence and we don't like it. I'm not one of those people. I'm trying not to look at it that way. I'm trying to learn the lessons and take it all in as growth opportunity.
Life changed for all of us. Whether it was 30 days ago or 90 days ago doesn't matter, does it?
Are we not all still learning how to live in this new reality either way?
Are we not all still struggling to find a way to make it work daily?
Does it matter how long it has been?
This whole challenge has pulled back the curtain on all of the issues we knew we had in this world but most of us were not willing to talk about out loud.
Lack of food security
Reliance on other countries for our own basic needs
Economical stability and security
Healthcare as a human right and not just a privilege
I think it has also forced us all to look at the life we had been living and re-evaluate it.
So many of the things we thought were important a few months ago now seem so unimportant. I now spend my days focusing on so many things that allow me to connect to people in new ways. Doing things that help me spread joy to the people I love and care about. I've gone back to handwriting letters. I always handwrite Christmas cards to mail out every year but I can't tell you the last time I snail-mailed someone a letter just for the fun of it. I've done it every couple of days for the last two months.
I've been cooking and baking just like most people. I've been connecting via FaceTime and Zoom to so many more people than I had before. I've tried to find a balance between being busy but still enjoying time weekly where I'm able to do nothing. Most of all I've just tried to stay away from social media and the regular media because half of what we hear and see simply isn't factual anymore. There are a few times a week where I'll watch the Prime Minister or the minister of health here in Canada make an announcement but otherwise, it simply isn't worth watching anymore. Reputable news sources aren't always fact-checking before they report anymore and it causes nothing but confusion. False information in the age of social media will be our downfall as a species I think. In our rush to be the first to report we no longer worry about if what is reported could harm people. We simply say "we can retract it later". It's beyond upsetting to me.
I don't know exactly how to feel about the fact it has been more than two months. Is there a way we are supposed to feel about it?
I don't think there is. I don't think anyone can tell us what we should feel right now, how we should feel it, or why. We all had very different lives before all this, which means we all have very different feelings about what has happened. We all have very different thoughts about what should happen next and that could cause us all a lot of stress going forward.
I'm trying not to focus on that. I'm trying to just remind myself that the lessons I've learned from all of this are my own. That I get to choose how and even if I want life to return to what it was before (I don't actually). I get to decide if this changes my life for the better going forward and so do you.