I've been here in Alberta for a month now and I've become lazy with this blog. I didn't realize how lazy I had gotten with it until I opened the folder on my laptop where I keep all my written, not yet posted blog posts. It's not that I've stopped writing, I've just become lazy about finishing and posting them. This is unacceptable to me. I feel like I haven't been accountable enough to myself since getting here to Edmonton.
I started this blog because I felt lost. I had no idea what to do with my life. All I knew was I needed a change. I wanted to figure out what my purpose on this planet was. I wanted to be happy. Coming here to Edmonton was the first step in this process. So far, I love this city and all it has to offer. It feels a lot like Toronto and as I explained in previous posts, I miss Toronto. I love that there is always something new to see or do. I think that I have become lazy because of that. There is just so much to write about that some days I don't know where to start. Some days feel like a blur while others I feel like I accomplish nothing and I might as well not have gotten out of bed. I figure those days I have nothing to write about, but that's not true because even on those days I am still doing something, learning something or growing in some way.
I've stopped being accountable to myself about how important writing this blog is in my journey. This blog is my way of having a record of what I'm going through, how far I have come and how far I have yet to go on this path to self-discovery. If I'm not accountable to myself about writing and posting it, then I might as well not be on this journey. I believe that we do not change unless we are accountable to ourselves to change unless we own up to our mistakes and take pride in the changes we make.
So right here, right now I'm going to make a promise to myself (and to those of you who read my blog) that from now on I will be accountable. I will post three times a week as I had planned when I started this blog a couple of months ago. I will be honest with myself in the writing of these posts so that I'm acknowledging what is going on in my life and how things are changing (for better or worse). This journey isn't always easy and some days I feel very lost. I promise that going forward I will share those days as well, not just the cupcakes and sprinkles of it all because when push comes to shove, we all have days where we feel lost and that is nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe learning to be happy with the lost and lonely days is just as important as learning to be happy with the cupcakes and sprinkles days.