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I’m 35, not Unhappy and Unfulfilled, Thanks.

We live in this world now that punishes people (women) by judging them if they don't live up to the "normal" standards of society's version of happiness. If you're over the age of 30 and you're not married or have chosen to not have kids the world stops to judge you and give you "advice" on how to be happy.

"How can you be happy, you're not with anyone?"

"Having kids makes your life complete, you need to have kids before it's too late."

"Don't you want to be happy, kids bring so much joy to your life."

If this were all true, parents wouldn't complain about how stressful kids are. They wouldn't beg for nights out without the kids. They wouldn't say things like "Sometimes I just wish I had waited".

So my question to you is this, why is it okay in the society we have here in the western world to bitch and complain about being married? Why is it acceptable to constantly complain about having kids but it's not okay to not make the choice not to have kids or get married? You don't get ridiculed if you're a stressed out parent because other parents understand where you're coming from. Married people can be totally unhappy and that's acceptable, but choose not to get married and "You're going to end up the crazy cat lady".

If you make the conscience choice to not have children, not be married at 35, the world comes to a grinding halt to judge you. To tell you "Your life is incomplete", "You're wasting your life", "How can you not want to share your life with a man?" "Do really think the lifestyle you are living will make you happy?" "In 20 years you'll wish you had kids or got married".

What the hell happened to making a choice that's best for you?

Why can't I be happy and single?

Why can't I have a completely fulfilled life without kids?

Why do people think they have the right to comment on my life choices?

Why is it not acceptable for me to share my life with a number of people, at my desecration?

Why do I have to pick a single person to make me happy? Why can't I find happiness and fulfillment from many places and people?

If indeed, I am making a mistake, it's my mistake to make.

People should say "Good for you for following your dreams!"

"Thanks for being mature enough to make the decision that kids aren't right for you at this point in your life."

"Congratulations, you must be extremely self-aware to know/do what's best for you".

We claim to live in this world where we want equal rights for men and women.


How many men do you know that get stopped on the street by strangers and asked why they don't have kids? How many men get into a cab and have the cab driver say, "What do you mean you're 35 and not married?"

Equal rights are only equal if we stop judging people based on these gender standards we had 50 years ago of what is and isn't acceptable behavior. If men can choose to not get married why can't women? If men can choose not to have children why can't women?

I choose to live my life in a way that makes me happy. I don't see why this gives anyone else the right to try to tell me how "wrong" my choice is.

My life choices don't diminish yours.

You're free to make the choice that's best for you so let me do the same, free from your judgments and opinions.

I don't judge you for choosing to have kids or being in a marriage (happy or not). Your life is exactly that, YOUR LIFE.

My life is MINE, so please let me live it how I choose.

Unless your life intersects with mine in such a way that my choice directly affects you, you have no right to comment on how I choose to live my life.

So for all the people out there, who think they have the right to comment on my life or anyone else's for that matter, think again. Keep your comments and judgments to yourself. Whether it's arrogance, a sense of entitlement or even genuine concern for me and my life, you have no right to push your beliefs onto me.

You let me live my life, the way I choose and I'll let you live yours.

A Ride and A Realization


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Friday, 25 June 2021
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