I have made a lot of changes over the last year in my life. I closed up a business that I had barely started. I sold almost everything I owned. I packed up my life and moved across the country. I've changed how I take care of myself. I eat better, I exercise, and I take vitamins. The person I am today feels so far removed from the person I was just a year ago.
There are these moments I have now where I look at my life and feel so unbelievably blessed that my heart could explode. I may be 3456 kilometers from the people I love back in Ontario but I feel like there is no distance between us at all. I am working very hard at keeping in touch with the people who matter. I am blessed because they are also doing the same.
Today I got a text message from my amazing friend who just happens to be having her first baby (I hope) the week of her husband's (and my) birthday next year. I had messaged her earlier to check in and say hi and the text I got back from her made me cry.
You see I've been with them on this journey of theirs to start a family for a while. There have been some ups and downs for them but they are finally blessed with the first pregnancy (of what I imagine will be a few) and it hasn't been easy. I worry about them and the baby every day. These are two of the most incredible people I know. They have huge hearts and they deserve nothing but amazing things in their life.
I cried for them when they found out they were having a baby (I also happened to be in the room at the time they found out so emotions were high). Every time I hear about a doctor's appointment or new baby issues I worry, get excited, become overjoyed and panic all at once. This isn't my family but these amazing friends of mine have become my chosen family and I love them with all my heart. I may not be there with them for this journey they are taking but I feel like no matter the physical distance between us I'm still with them. I'm still here for them when they need me and I know they feel the same.
A lot may have changed in my life in the last little while, but the way that I care will never change. The way that I love people is with my whole heart. Yes, this opens me up to get wounded but it also gives me the ability to have a fierce connection with those I care about. A wise woman told me years ago that intrinsically I was someone who connected on a very deep level with people. I just had to learn to let them in. She wasn't wrong.
I'm so happy to be surrounded by such amazing people. I'm glad I've learned to let people in and open myself up to such love. I'm blessed to be a part of someone else's happy.
Amanda and Billy, I love you guys and that beautiful baby of yours.