4 minutes reading time (800 words)

Saturday Frustration

Over the last seven and a half months, I've been learning to be more accepting of myself. More accepting of my flaws, which has been hard. More accepting of my thoughts about my life. More accepting of my body because like most women I have body acceptance issues. More accepting of my feelings because I need to learn that my feelings have value and it's my responsibility to tell the world that. This is not an easy process. Like most women I struggle with these issues daily.

Today I learned that not everyone is okay with my new sense of self. As a matter of fact (some people) dislike my honesty and openness about my feelings and opinions. I believe this is because people don't want to look in the mirror and see the truth. We live in this zoned out world where we ignore the truth because it's easier to see what we want to see. It's easier to ignore what needs to be done, what needs to change. We want to pretend that nothing is wrong in the world and that we have these perfect, happy lives. We've become so used to this zoned out way of thinking that when faced with someone who isn't living in this zoned out world we tend to fire back. We tell this person they are wrong, we do whatever we need to in order to defend this zoned out view we have because we are too comfortable in our views to want to change them.

Change is hard. Changing how we view the world is harder. I've always wanted to see things from different angles. Hell, I took philosophy in university in part because it forces you to view things from different points of view without ever getting a right or wrong answer. I've made it a point over the last seven months to start to try to change my view and part of that is accepting that sometimes my view may be wrong. That doesn't mean my opinion isn't valid or my feelings aren't valid. It simply means that I need to constantly look at every situation from more than one point of view.

My frustration, however, is that no one else is doing this. Instead, they judge me for doing so. I'm judged because I made a choice to live a life that doesn't fit into the standard mold. I'm judged because I choose to speak my mind. I'm judged because I have opinions that upset other people. My question is, how is it my responsibility to make sure that you're not upset by my life? Is it not your responsibility to choose to live how you want? So if you get to choose why don't I?

When I speak my mind or say what I think I don't do this with malice. I don't say how I see things hoping that it upsets others. I say it because it's how I see the world. It's how my perspective is. If your perspective is different I welcome you to tell me. Don't just tell me you think I'm wrong. Explain to me why you see things differently. Help me understand your point of view. Don't judge me because my point of view is different; look at the situation from my point of view as well. Try to understand how someone outside the situation may see things from a different angle.

We as a world have got to stop judging people for what they choose in life. As long as those choices to don't affect your life then what business is it of yours to judge others?

My life is exactly that, MY LIFE. Let me make my own choices, you can make different ones in your life if you choose. I'm not asking you to like the choices I make but don't judge me for them. Don't judge me because you think I'm wrong.

I've lost some friends over the last seven months because of this. I've stopped speaking to people who aren't willing to change or grow because my whole goal now is to grow and change. I want to learn, I want to grow, I want to change my perspective and see the world in different ways. I want people to challenge my beliefs and my views. I want the world to hold up a mirror to everything I think/feel and question if it's correct or just what I've been conditioned to think and feel and see.

We aren't always going to see eye to eye. You may not like that I tell you how I see things, but don't assume that because I see things differently I MUST be wrong and, therefore, you're right. Look at what I say and determine if maybe, just maybe, you're looking at the world through rose coloured glasses.

I’m Not Sorry!


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Friday, 25 June 2021
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