On my flight from Edmonton to Toronto in January, I found myself looking out the window over the wings of the plane and watching the sunrise. On most of my flights I tend to watch TV or read a book, but this flight didn't have TVs and I wasn't in the mood to read at 7 am. So, I found myself looking out the window as the sun slowly came over the wings of the plane thinking about my life.
My life has changed a lot in the last nine months and I find it hard sometimes to take a minute and stop to acknowledge just how much I've changed. I find myself still battling between who I used to be and who I'm becoming.
Sometimes I feel like I should be making one choice in life because it's what's expected of me, or it's the "right" thing to do, but my heart says something different. I find myself now making choices based more on who I want to be in this life rather than choosing what the world expects of me.
This is a huge step for me. I still struggle some days with the choices I make, but I've never been happier in my life. I'm no longer the girl who takes care of everyone else first. I'm no longer the girl who does whatever everyone else needs her to do.
As I watched the sunrise out of the window of the 737 I couldn't help but smile. This life of mine has led me to airplanes, where I feel at home. The thought of going somewhere, anywhere, makes my heart soar. Sitting at an airport waiting for my flight makes me feel whole. I feel like this is where I'm meant to be. This life I'm creating for myself has helped me to find my happy place.
I don't know where I'll end up. I don't know how I'm going to make it happen, but I'm going to find a way to make this happy place my norm. To spend as much time as I can living out of a backpack or suitcase and going wherever the wind takes me. I'm going to continue to live this blessed life I have and make every moment of it count.
I smiled and watched the sun come up. I took a minute to acknowledge that I'm not who I used to be. I counted my blessings and said a small thank you to the universe for giving me an opportunity to change. I took a minute to reflect on how different my life could be if I hadn't trusted my gut and made this choice to change things nine months ago.
We are all given choices in life. Some of us choose to stay on the same path we have been on for our whole lives. Some of us choose not to. I had the courage to take a leap of faith. To allow my heart and my head to disagree and still follow my dreams.
It led me here, to this happy place above the clouds. To this feeling, I want to live in for the rest of my life. It led me to this feeling of happiness I get from looking out the window and seeing the world 30,000 feet below me.
I found a piece of myself here, above the clouds, watching the sunrise from a 737. I hope to find more pieces as I continue to travel and explore this amazing world we call home. I hope to be strong enough to continue to follow my heart and not always listen to my head.