"You love too much."
"You love too hard."
"You care more than you should."
"You're too much for people to handle."
"You're going to get hurt if you keep allowing yourself to care this much."
I've heard it all. At some point in my life, I've heard it from everyone. When I was a kid, I thought they were right. Why would I believe any differently? I was a kid; they were adults; they must have known better.
They were, I believe, trying to 'protect' me. Change me, so I didn't get hurt out in the real world, but the problem is they all assumed I couldn't handle the hurt. That, in some way, the world would be too much for me without it breaking me entirely.
The truth is the world did break me more than once over my 40 years so far, but it never changed that part of me. The part that cares "too much" for some people. The part that opens me up to be hurt over and over again. The part of me that cares for others even if I don't know them or they don't care about me.
That's because this is who I am!
At the core of my soul is a woman who cares deeply.
A woman who cares more about others than she does about getting hurt herself.
I know that the hurt I may endure is worth it.
I know this because I know what it's like to feel unloved.
I know how it feels to go through life wondering if you have value or if the world cares about you, and I don't ever want anyone else to feel that way.
I'm willing to risk it.
I'm willing to break over and over again if it helps someone else feel loved and valued because I know how to put myself back together.
Over the last decade, I've taken the time to figure out how to turn my cracks into glittery and gold, becoming something beautiful because of them.
I've learned that for people like myself, the world will always see us as "Too Much." The problem with that is the world needs more of us.
More people who love openly and freely.
More who love without condition and don't care how the world views it.
Our world may not be accepting of people like myself. People who care deeply about other people even when they have hurt them, but that's the world's problem, not mine.
If my loving you is "Too Much" for you, too bad.
I won't apologize for who I am.
I won't change how much I care about people.
You don't have to love me back; you don't even have to like me but imagine how much better your life could be if you accept that someone like me loves you because you matter.